A Journey from Pain to Purpose

I. Who I Am

I am 45 years old and come from a tight-knit, working-class family with one sibling — a brother nine years older than me. The Netherlands is our home, where my husband, two adult children, and I live as a family. In my spare time and on vacations, I enjoy walking, traveling, and all the intricate beauty life offers. I am passionate about my profession as a hairstylist and make-up artist; nothing is more rewarding than making people feel like their best version. In addition, I relish the challenge of writing stories and coaching others stuck in their lives and needing help to recognize their worth. Over the years, I have honed skills that give me unique insights into these various aspects of life.

II. What Happened

Memories of when I was five years old: a stranger's hands grabbed me, pulling me away from my family and into a hidden nightmare that twisted my young mind for years to come. I had dreams filled with a man behind bars. They asked me if he was my perpetrator. With the best intentions, my mother decided not to tell me anything, hoping I would not remember. She didn't know that the body never forgot. A forgotten childhood experience caused years of self-doubt.

III. What My Life Became

The shame, guilt, and forgotten experience trapped me in my skin for years, feeling isolated. It stripped away my value daily, and darkness consumed me until I could no longer sense my worth. My throat closed like a vice whenever I tried to voice an opinion, leaving me mute and unable to express myself. Eight years after they diagnosed me with psoriatic arthritis, using a wheelchair felt inevitable. I no longer had the strength to put my socks on, and the condition made it hard for me to carry out daily tasks. Despite that, I kept the spirit alive when I almost lost all hope.

IV. What Changed

It was at this point that I needed someone else's help. I asked Jean Dorff for help, which changed my life. It was a turning point when I started the coaching program. Our sessions brought up many things; journal writing brought solace and healing. It was a gradual process that required time and commitment. As the Christmas lights twinkled merrily around me, a terrifying flashback hit me like a wave of scalding water. All at once, memories of what had happened flooded my brain, and everything suddenly made sense. When I asked my mother if it was true, she nodded sadly and confirmed the truth. Tears streaming down my face, I realized the gravity of the abuse I had suffered. The heavy shame and guilt that had weighed me down suddenly felt lighter when she apologized and told me why they had kept it a secret. I had finally set myself free. Each session strengthened and improved my mindset, reminding me of my worth. I began caring for myself: exercising regularly, meditating, and eating healthier foods. Two years later, I embarked on another coaching program focused on consciousness. Everything went so well that I stopped taking my medication altogether.

V. Who I Am Now

Gradually, I regained my physical and mental state. I realize I can handle my life and happiness and must instigate change. My life turned around 180 degrees — I noticed everything was possible to change your life. I've gone from nothing, feeling empty and lost, to everything — a life of true happiness and love, with two companies under my belt. My experiences inspired me to write, providing hope and guidance for others struggling on their healing journey. Coaching and journaling have been indispensable, helping me go gracefully through life's challenges. Now I'm filled with excitement and gratitude as I look toward the future, ready to embrace whatever comes next on my ever-evolving voyage of self-discovery and healing. Others can do the same. I love to help people with my coaching to see their value and to (re)find themselves, so they can fully enjoy life again without hindering themselves.